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April 16th 2009

    The ancestors would have considered sacrifice by this time.  Something pure with its throat cut might have done the trick.  But I have radio, an entire television channel, and through the internet I can see whether it is snowing in Moscow.  As I wake up, I know, within a degree or two, exactly what the day will do.  

    Amongst male ancestors, I will argue, this current inclemency would have created a tension of will.  It would have been insufficient for the ancient male gardener to simply shrug. 

   The first gardeners were women.  While men and boys chased mammoth late into the night, women and girls considered the possibility of nurturing edible plants.  They did this in the event mammoth outwitted man.  An event which would have happened often enough for women to have long reckoned upon a self sufficiency that tradition preferred to keep secret so men would not sulk.    

    

    Then, when the craft of gardening was accomplished, and men saw profit and power in surplus, they looked up into a cold sky to find the ghosts of mammoth taunting them.  Ever agile, men hunted them in the ether.  Some considered appeasement through gruesome offerings.  Others adapted their hunting chants, introduced dance and the musical instrument.  But thanks to the technical age, I have nowhere useful to put my mind, so I just stare out of the window and blame the weather forecasters.

 

    Most will tell me I have no claim to the accuracy of this analysis.  I will offer the following words in support of it: 

 

Football 

Women priests

The Pope

Witches

   

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