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June 25th 2009

    In the progress of offending people, it is always polite to allow the offended an opportunity to denigrate the offender.   Some of my victims however are dead, and others might as well be.  So it is only fair for me to indulge a duality and speak for the offended by denigrating myself first.

    I am the sort of person who enjoyed Tristram Shandy.  I am therefore too stupid to see it as a callow attempt at notoriety by a disgruntled and penniless loyalist.  

    I am the sort of person who thinks Hegel had a point in the Phenomenology of Spirit.  I am too ill-prepared to understand the real world as an individualistic material paradise ruled by greed and the joy of stuff.

    I am the sort of person who finds angels amongst the Existentialists.  I am too poorly educated to accept the primacy of process as a means to maintain coexistence between the fortunate and the less fortunate.

 

    I could go on, but the gist is there.  An insufferable bore.  A flat penny amongst silver coins.  A leak in the hose pipe.  A fly on the toilet seat.   A cockroach on the egg salad.  A lone quail in the vegetable garden. Oh yes, and I could also be accused of that vileness that is the 'pompous little shit', with its holier than thou. 

    I use these tired old phrases to demonstrate a genuine commitment to duality.   They are apt expressions which the offended should understand and agree with. 

    It is an attempt to be honest, my supporters might agree.  It is an attempt at realism, my supporters might insist.  But they would be wrong, because I know my enemy too well.  Amongst them, honesty is just another word in the vocabulary of fools, and the real is always what they want it to be.  Poor Dears.

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