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November 17th 2009

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    My own relationship with the calendar most likely reflects an individual experience of living.  It is not some key to understand an expanding universe.  A universe I always argue contains consciousness.  A position I hold purely for the joy of it. 

    Rather this digression is the me part of I expressing a distress with the emotions of up-hillness and down-hillness.  The me part of I does so in the presence of a question which asks "Which one amongst us lives on a plateau?"  Those spaces where there may be a curve so infinite it almost becomes a flat line.  On such a plateau we would be as a marble teetering constantly on the verge of tumbling but never actually tumbling.   It would be nerve-wracking.

    But what happens when the universe contracts.  We would then live on the other side of the curve, we would live inside the curve, and each time we experienced up-hillness, however heartily our engines growled, or however greatly our legs ached we would fall, like beetles in jars to a particular spot that would always be the same.  And here acceptance would be an absolute understanding of down-hillness. 

    

    

    Simplistic perhaps to say, "better to live on the outside of a curve than it is to live on the inside of a curve."   On the inside of a curve there would be one absolute understanding of down-hillness.  On the outside of a curve there would be one absolute understanding of up-hillness.

    But it would be wrong to see gravity as emotion in this analogy.  Better to think of gravity as amongst those forces out of which matter is made.  Better to express gravity as a slope in a random place, and with that word 'random' absent existence completely from a duality thrust upon us by functions necessary for "we".  Closer I think to the real that way.  

    Then, in the definition of emotion I prefer to conceptualize a quality of time, which, to the disgruntlement of biologists, chemists, psychologists and grammarians, I have called "hillness".  I do so because there is no actual difference between absolute up-hill and absolute down-hill.  Temporal existence wisely defies perfection unless you are looking for those qualities so many are prone to devise in their pursuit of "we" tumbling toward something like happiness or sadness.          

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tim candler

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