An English In Kentucky



















October 24th 2009

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    The old me wrote lists.  They can be found sometimes amongst those things that cannot be thrown away.  They are written on frugal bits of paper and tucked away in safe places.  And it was probably the discovery of one such bit of paper that persuaded the new me to open a folder on his computer that has the title 'list'.

    Spell-checked, typewritten and bulleted this document contains the majesty of formal intention.  It is the gold coin amongst pennies.  It is bright with direction and orderliness.   But it would be much more practical were it on a single sheet of paper.  This way multiple copies could be distributed so that it might retain a constant and current presence in daily routine.  

    Unfortunately the list is quite long and does not as currently configured fit on the one side of a single sheet of paper.  Reducing font size is defeating, because while the old me enjoys the freedom associated with illegibility the new me has made his resolution, and in that resolution freedom does not appear.


    The answer is columns.  On the word processor there is a function that enables columns, but so far profanity by itself has failed to produce a column or any sense of how a column is achieved.

    This infuriating impasse is further aggravated by an understanding in the new me that some years ago the old me was capable of telling the word processor how to produce columns.  And no matter how convincing the old me tries to be the new me does not believe him.

    Such a pity the third part of this triumvirate is memory, because now that memory is slowly dwindling the new me and the old me, may one day part company.  A sad event I'm certain, but I'll not be there to see it.

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tim candler

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(Multiple Personality Disorder)