An English In Kentucky


















May 14th 2010    Tim Candler

    If my species stood about one inch high, I would probably live for a year.   Odds are I would be more like a mouse or a rabbit during the teenage months.   I would believe that standing very still meant I was invisible.  Then my nose would twitch, I would sneeze and the keen eyed would rob me of old age.

    My choice of location as an inhabitant of the Vegetable Garden could be among Carrots.  Of course we tiny people would only ever live in semi-tropical paradise where the diligent gardener would have runs of Carrot 12 months of the year.   And I would have a little hammock to sleep in, where I could enjoy the breeze, and from which I could discuss political issues with fellow garden dwellers. 

    Those who lived amongst Potato would be hairier than we Carrot people.   Whenever I saw a band of Potato dwellers I would nod politely before finding busy work.   And I say this because I think Potato dwellers would be freedom loving and invasive.   They would chant at night and sometimes they would run around in an unruly manner because generations ago they had discovered alcohol and cigarettes.

     As a Carrot dweller my night vision would be excellent, my hearing acute, so nothing much would sneak by me.   And I would be able to hear Potato dwellers slur happily and call me a sissy.   But occasionally I wouldn't care because we all know someone who never leaves the the perennial border.

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