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May 20th 2011    Tim Candler

    As I understand it tomorrow first happens somewhere in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. Which is painful for those of us who live in the Americas because it means we'll hear reports of wailing and gnashing of teeth long before our turn comes.

    Fortunately I am fairly experienced at wailing and gnashing so it'll be my chance to stand out from the crowd, demonstrate fortitude, crack the odd joke.  But I have not made it to midnight since around 1989 so most likely I'll be asleep when tomorrow arrives in Kentucky.  And I do hope somewhere someone will have had the foresight to brew coffee otherwise the first hours of Judgment Day will remain somewhat blurred for me.

     It's all rather exciting for the faithful, and I wonder how others are preparing for the big day.  Eggplant clearly have not reacted well.  Not for them the stiff upper lip and the carry on regardless of good soldiers.  They must have heard the news soon after planting and have been in a deep depression ever since.

     Which is odd and rather alarming because in my dreams I have always seen Eggplant amongst the Apples, the Pears and the Cashew Nut trees which the word heaven inspires in me. No doubt Eggplant have their own vision of newness and in that vision their growing season is even colder.  And if they are correct how sad my heart to think there might not be Wax Gourd where we are going.

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