An English In Kentucky


















Sunday July 29th 2012    Tim Candler

    I don't normally wear the spectacles when using the gentleman's facilities at my place of employment.  It's a series of coordinated  movements that I have practiced now for really quite a long time, so as long as I am roughly in the correct place, I don't need lenses.  The Gentlemen's facilities are very clean, even though sometimes around lunch break, or early on a Sunday morning, they smell a little like boy, or is it beer. And on the walls are large and dire warnings about the consequence of not washing hands, after performing what ever ablution one has found it necessary to try and achieve.

     Quite why I was wearing the spectacles I no longer recall, but what for a long time I thought was some sort of productivity chart, or series of safety mnemonics, because it was located at about that place above each of  the urinals which in less well kept toilets is reserved for witticisms or telephone numbers, is actually titled a Hydration Chart.   Eight bands of color, ranging from a rather flaccid and peaky yellow to what I'd call the greenish brown of a mildewing soil.  Either way, the House Sparrows at work, have a had a tremendous brood, and I saw a young Crow with a two parents watching them.

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