An English In Kentucky


















Monday September 17th 2012    Tim Candler

    I'd argue that if the 'Ides of Fish Oil as a Health Supplement' was somewhere around yesterday, then by the calends of October 'Fish Oil as a Health Supplement Manufacture' will be firmly on that side of the political debate that sees reasonableness as a gross and unacceptable interference with god's gift of freedom.  And in keeping with traditional practice, these manufacturers will parley an interruption of cash flow into an equally expensive campaign of promotion, or reeducation.  "Fish Oil," they'll insist, "Is not only vital for complexion and internal governance, it is also central to a nation's sense of worth."  Gnarled old men with clear eyes, perfect memory and better hair styling, will immerge from amongst the guild of actors to claim it was "Fish Oil" that gave them the character to become the Greatest Generation.  And having myself been a victim of 'fish oil through formative years,' I'll find myself agreeing with them.

    So, I'll call today a good opportunity for those with a callous disregard for anything beyond enlightened self interest to offer their services to the Fish Oil Debate.  For my part I will say,  "Rickets, from vitamin D deficiency is a horrible and unnecessary affliction."  As well I'll  remind the debate, that to make Cod Liver Oil, the livers of Cod are no longer carefully removed, then lovingly fermented in a barrel of salt water for twelve months before the oil is extracted by Cod Liver Oil Brew Masters who also read Kierkegaard.  These days the fatty tissues and other bits of all captured aquatic animals that have gills and limbs without digits, and which cannot be turned into fillets or tinned cat food, are cooked up to make Fish Meal, which is fed to the creators of pork chops and which is why frozen chicken from the Grocery Store can sometimes smell strangely like a five day old Halibut.  And Fish Meal is also a product which the dainty can call an 'organic fertilizer,' at around a dollar fifty a pound, or around two hundred Algerian dinars a kilogram.  Fish Oil, and what now passes for 'Cod Liver Oil,' is one byproduct of this process.

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