An English In Kentucky


















Tuesday September 4th 2012    Tim Candler

    The kitchen is indulging a passion for sweet things, sometimes called "cookies," from the Dutch word 'koekje' which means baby or little cake. And I'd love to know what the Delaware, or the Unkechaug, or the Mohegan might have called such sweet things.  The sugars in the cookies, are from cane, because sugar from corn is not bound to fiber, and at certain ages a person's life pretty much revolves around the quality of his relationship with the toilet, or the "thunder box" as it has been called by English speaking Europeans who migrated to the southern hemisphere.  The box, was placed over a hole in the ground, and I guess here in Kentucky it would be called an "outhouse."   

    When I was younger the unheated and airy building that contained toilettes was called "the honks."  The cubicles didn't have doors, because doors might mean little boys had privacy.  Not something encouraged by those in charge, because those in charge were either a little perverse around binoculars, or they had a concept of purity which emerged from an understanding that if left to themselves little boys very quickly revert to a natural and rather disgusting state.  Then at the beginning of a new term, "the honks"  were suddenly a wonderful place to hide and smoke cigarettes, and many of us thanked the Good Lord for a government regulation that required school toilettes to have doors that latched. 

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