An English In Kentucky


















Friday September 7th 2012    Tim Candler

    It has been my understanding that the Great Economic Depression of the 1930's became the Second World War.  I could say, that the Great Economic Depression of the 1930's caused the Second World War.  As well, I could choose sides by adding, the Great Economic Depression of the 1930's was resolved by massive world wide government investment and borrowing.  And I could say the Second World War was the biggest and most successful Job Creator of the Twentieth Century.  But I am going to say none of these things, because the truth or otherwise of these sentences is too depressing a commentary upon a species that also built the Pyramids at Giza, Rievaulx Abbey and the long walks of Offa's Dyke. So instead, I am going to take my pill and attempt a moment of contact with what appears to be the signature activity of Twenty First Century imagination, which is promoting a product.

       "Foetsie,"  is a familiar word, because when I was smaller the Dutch phrase "Voort seg ik" was known to me through it's adaptation by the Afrikaner Dutch who turned it toward the more popular "voetsek" and which came to English as "footsac."  "Voort seg ik"  translates as a noble "Forward Say I."  "Voetsek" means something like "Vuck Ovv".  The English "Footsac" means "Kindly go away."  Then some years ago, The Artist produced a "Foetsie" from her overseas travelling case.  I thought, "Be still my heart! A yellow plastic tennis racket! Upon which wall shall we hang it so as to better appreciate and understand its meaning."  However, this hand held device requires a battery, and if a person can avoid electrocuting himself while installing this battery,  and if a person can also remember where the "Foetsie" might be,  it becomes what I consider an almost honorable weapon in the continuing negotiation with Fruit Fly ambitions.  And it is also an opinion that a more authentic, less pandering "Foetsie" would have retained its "V."

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