An English In Kentucky


















Sunday June 2nd 2013    Tim Candler


     I think my point about the Zoroastrian Tradition, or at least what I call the Zoroastrian Tradition, is the thoroughly material nature of the understanding of life that it brings to my own sense of being alive.  "Giving Alms To The Birds" as Tibetans have called it.  And I believe there still might be a Tower of Silence in Karachi, which is where some of the one hundred thousand or so remaining Parsis have a community. But the Parsis, who are Zoroastrian, don't quite share my view.  For them it's more a matter of not polluting the air through cremation, or the earth through burial. Nor apparently do I cleave to the Zoroastrian tradition for any sort of ecological or hygiene reason. Otherwise I might be persuaded to consider a recently devised practice for the problem of dead human bodies, which goes under the name Promession.  Which regular readers of the "Daily Undertaker" might already be familiar with. 

    Essentially Promession is a process that converts a dead human body to mulch as quickly as possible. I would be immersed in liquid nitrogen, so as to make me brittle. Then I would be subjected to vibration which would shatter my frozen remains. I would then be subjected to a vacuum, which would remove water and turn me to dust.  This dust would then be sieved to remove things like teeth, and subjected to a magnetic process that would remove things like artificial hips.  I would then be placed into a small cardboard box which would be buried  in the top layer of soil, and within twelve months both the cardboard box and I would be humus. If you wish to pursue this extraordinarily unattractive and industrial option,  here is a link:



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