An English In Kentucky


















Sunday April 13th  2014  Tim Candler


     I'd like to discuss the word "retard' today. To my mind, as it's currently configured,  "retard" is associated with the 'Short Bus,' which here in the United States is that group of scholars who for one reason or another are not as mentally alert as a majority of scholars. I'm inclined to think this an arbitrary percentage, that might vary over times, but is generally posited as a number less than a 'Full Bus.'  Nor am I absolutely certain what the parameters might be for being included in the category of "retard."  Though sometimes I suspect it might be more of a subjective visual appraisal, than any kind of complexity that might require correct answers to thoroughly loaded questions. I am also very aware that the word "retard" is not one a person can bandy around the Grocery Aisles without raising the odd eyebrow.


     It's possible also that sometimes a person might be a little more "retarded" than at other times.  And to follow my gist here I suggest you do as I do and occasionally pick up the telephone when it rings so that you too might answer a few random questions about your shopping preferences, and then have to explain why a home security system might not be something you actually want to have a long term relationship with. Then, if you happen to be recovering from a near death experience in the Vegetable Garden, which involved a shovel a wheel barrow, a still hibernating Garden Toad and temperatures that felt like 120 degrees Fahrenheit, and you come inside and hear the words, "I'm going to have to retard one of the loaves." You might pause a moment, and reckon that yes indeed an observer would be right to look at you and say "it's the short bus for him."


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