An English In Kentucky


















Sunday June 8th 2014  Tim Candler


    There's a theory that money is about credit, rather than some ho-ha around righteous exchange. So when you buy something you clear a little credit, or maybe a lot of credit. It also means that if you have ten dollars, someone somewhere owes you something, and your job is to decide who owes you what. And you have to think, that to come up with this argument, a person must have been very badly treated as a child, and now spends their time in a windowless room. However, the theory does explain why for so many, shopping is high up there as the principal source of happiness. When you buy something from a shop, you are relieving another of his debt to you, and this makes you feel good, and generous, and it's all very warm and fuzzy, and they say things like "thank you," "have a nice day," "come back," and they might even give you a thank you bag,  and you go home feeling valuable and much better about yourself.


     I'm old fashioned I guess, because I prefer to think of money as the source of all evil. It's the Devil's own equation, his double entry accounting, it's his gift to us sinners that allows us to put a price on everything, including piety, rain forests and the mentally ill. And he's very fashionable at the moment, all high and mighty and pleased with himself. God - blessed be unto him - still whittles on with his strange notions of credit in the afterlife, and his absolute refusal through the course of the past couple of thousand years to oblige those brave few who have tried to find solace in the 'End of Days' rather than a shopping mall or a second hand car lot. Granted my own wisdom and explanation are also derived from sitting in a windowless room and cursing  Burpee Seeds who apparently don't owe me anything other than "thank you," "have a nice day" and "come back."


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