An English In Kentucky


















Sunday May 11th 2014  Tim Candler


      Throughout my years of education, which if I had to add them all up would probably comprise well over half a century, I have failed miserably to concentrate upon spelling, and as a result I have a crack like addiction to devices that come under the heading of "spell check."  That little red line tells me that a spelling is unrecognized. And here, if I type the word "labour" that little red line remains until I remove the "u." However once I type the word "labor" I am no longer a user of English, I am user of  American English.  Those English who reside in the United States, are sometimes prone to believe that in order to retain an Englishness, they must add the word "labour" to their American dictionary, and when they do so I have a strong desire never to meet them, or interact with them in any way, shape or form. In my world such an action is on a par with piecing an ear or being tattooed or trimming facial hair, rather than occasionally shaving it all off. And I could go on.

     However, the distinction between "Angels" and "Angles" presents an interesting challenge for me. Granted there is no forgiving the error in spelling, but in my own defense I will say that when it comes to speech I speak the word "Angle" as "ANG-EL."  And I speak the word "Angel" as "AIN-GELL." And I say "ANGL" to mean those Jutes who settled East Anglia and comprised one part of the Anglo Saxon People. Now, it's all very well being a pompous ass, but in order to pass the test of being a pompous ass, as opposed to a mere pompous ass in training, a person should really never make spelling errors, otherwise a pure and beautiful thought becomes "I spelled angles wrong."  And this realization is followed by a reaction I'll call, "Why don't I just get a nose ring."  And  I can't help but think such reaction is a little three dimensional for a Gardener who is desperately seeking to reach beyond edging.  



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