An English In Kentucky


















 Thursday January 14th 2016Tim Candler9


     More time than usual trying to find my coffee mug this morning. It can just suddenly disappear and it's as though it had never existed. Of the options available to explain the disappearance, one is a forgetfulness verging on Alzheimer's. This would make sense given the problems I have remembering my telephone number, home address and what might have happened yesterday. And it's the case that I do like to think of this type of forgetfulness as being a consequence of the mind devoting itself to a Higher Calling such that the existence or other wise of a telephone number or an address or some kind of past becomes briefly insignificant in the grand scheme of cycle and recycle that pretty much dooms us all. But with respect to coffee mugs it's more likely someone or something has chosen to occupy their own morning hours by deliberately hiding them.


     The Artist has of course been a prime suspect, but The Artist is on her travels, which means there's a strong possibility that something or someone has gained access to the domicile and is badly messing with me. And I know who it is, he has penchant for hammers, the smaller wrenches, and Philips head screwdrivers. He has a mountain of them some where. A few years ago he took to constantly hiding my spectacles and rest assured it was very irritating. I cleverly solved the spectacles problem by attaching a loop of string to their earpieces and now nobly carry them at all times around my neck. It does look a little dorky, a few steps away from being a mental patient, but I have accepted the look and carry it with dignity. Clearly a coffee mug which contains liquid cannot reasonably be carried around the neck. In short, your correspondent is actively seeking the services of a genuine Exorcist and not some kind of Herbal supplement .



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