An English In Kentucky


















 Tuesday May 10th 2016Tim Candler9


      The Cat has had several names. Gilbort Frank has been one of them, and with respect to the name "Gilbort" the spelling is an approximation of the sound rather than a name a person might find in the Cathedral of Names. It's possible that the less obsessed might not know that when a Cat is first introduced to a Vet, a file is opened. I've been told that after the niceties of address and telephone number the Cat is asked for her name. And as I understand it, it's all very jolly-jolly with pet type people and their assortment of pets all over the place, so saying something like "It's a cat" doesn't really cut the mustard in a Vet's waiting room. Apparently the name Gilbort Frank did raise an eyebrow, so The Artist explained the dilemma by saying "grandchild." It's the sort of straight to the point detail that puts a purr into the hardest heart. Yes of course, aren't grandchildren wonderful, they come up with the strangest names and god bless them you just can't say no. Following this first visit to the vet, The Artist and your correspondent addressed the name Gilbort Frank, and we both agreed that The Cat, despite the power of grandchild, just doesn't look or feel like a Gilbort Frank.



      For my part I was kind of resigned to the name, took comfort from the idea that even a Gilbort Frank would soon enough get lost in the jumble and come away as something like "Have you seen The Cat." By the second visit to the Vet, routines had become a little more settled, and The Artist took her opportunity to bravely explain to the Vet's Assistant that henceforth Gilbort Frank would be known as "There" the cat formerly known as "Gilbort Frank." The Vet's Assistant was understanding, she might have been a Prince Fan, and she explained to The Artist that cat people do come up with what she called the "best names." It's the sort of remark that puts feather in the backbone and we all felt rather pleased with ourselves. Currently, following her breakfast and a little run around outside, "There" is asleep on a comfortable chair while Giant Voles, sneakier and sneakier Rabbits and Harvesting Chipmunks have free range of the outdoors. Mind you there has been a suggestion that the addition of a "Here" and an "Everywhere" might result in a galvanizing of the more primal raw in tooth and claw type urges that cats are supposed to exhibit during their relatively few hours of wakefulness.



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