An English In Kentucky


















Wednesday December 27th 2017Tim Candler9


      There's all kinds of odd ideas for the future of organized society before we all escape to the luxuries of hunter gathering groups huddling for warmth on bitter winter days, a north wind sucking the life out anything remotely sentient. Some of these ideas are pleasant, others a kind of nightmare to my way of thinking. But as a big fan of "Creative Is" many of these ideas ring just a little flat in the area of imagination, so much so the phrase "Used Tissue Paper" springs to an adventuring mind. The Paleoconservative Movement is up there with "Oh My God." It's a wholly revanchist approach to the past five thousand or so years, its tenets are anti free trade, anti multiculturalism, anti other countries, very limited central government and a return to what's called the traditional categories of race, ethnicity, gender, their point being there's a 'natural' order of things which we mess with at our peril and before you know it there are dashiki wearing transvestites in the US Marine Corp, a mosque on every corner, a Sharia law which means you lose a hand for doing the natural thing and pinching a girls bottom, all supported by the censorship of political correctness and to hell with the US Constitution, a wishy-washy document if ever there was one, "Que Les Trumps Soient Des Trumps " is the motto. More damning the movement places a relationship between property and freedom, and this does in my often simple view suggest that the motive behind the Paleocons can be found in the sadly fragile insularity of Anglo Saxon protestant males trying to deal with a failure of imagination by attempting to institutionalize not just ordinary common or garden mansplaining, but white mansplaining. And I say protestant because the great wealth of the Catholic Church comprise those scary free wheeling foreigners like the Spanish, the French and the Irish. What a Paleoconservative wants is correctly bred property owning and incredibly dull males in charge. In 2017 this movement seems to have made great strides toward achieving their grand solution, concentrating wealth and power in the hands of dominant clans while at the same time rolling back the hard won protections for the un-chosen, the differently colored, the improperly baptized, those struggling with the sin of poverty, the lame, the halt and the blind. Don't get me wrong, as an Anglo Saxon of some sort myself, my objection to the Paleoconservative Myth about us Anglo Saxons goes all the way back to the confusion wrought in us by King Alfred, who was a Christian who'd kissed the Pope's ring, which made him a Catholic.



     Back in the day we Anglo Saxons had peacefully intermingled with the natives in our new island home, we'd become a veritable rainbow of Briton, Celt, Angle, Saxon and the odd Italian who'd stayed in Britannia rather than go back to Rome. We had our clans, we had our chiefs, we had our farms, we had our light industries, we had our craven images, we had our blissfully short life spans and we were perfectly happy quarreling with each other about who owned what field, and occasionally we'd break down to form a united front against gangsters from Denmark or the thieving Norwegians, or the Terrifying Scots or the Dragons from Wales. Battles we'd usually lose gloriously so that our poets had something to contribute to our way of life. Then Alfred came along, not only did he lie about inventing the lantern and the Navy, he put an outrage and an inadequacy into us that was totally unallied to our own traditional values, and one of the ways he did this was by importing foreign scholars to do stuff like teach us reading and writing, accounting and how to make soufflés and quiche. It worked for a bit, but with us Anglo Saxons old habits die hard, we are a simple and visceral people, easily led astray, breadth of scholarship is not innate in us, nor are things like new ideas, knives and forks, or napkins. And if it hadn't been for the Norman invasion of the English part of the Island we'd have quickly reverted to our traditional preoccupations of eating, drinking beer, getting drunk and fighting each other. It was these foreign Norman Kings and their insidious genius for central government that shaped us into an avaricious nation hell bent on stuff like World Domination. So the question for us more genuinely traditional Anglo Saxons is: "Have the Anglo Saxons in the USA gone totally mad, found another lying Alfred that eventually dooms us to some sort of William the Conqueror type hell on earth which could well involve an invasion of Canada?" Either one should fill a true blue Anglo Saxon with an ennui, which is a word the English upper classes stole from the French, and would use in the 18th Century as the fashionable way of saying "boring" and which is now commonly defined as being "listless, dissatisfied, insipid and uninspired." Interesting too, Edmund Burke an early Paleocon was from Dublin, which is in Ireland. Hobbes another guiding light of the Paleos was from Malmesbury, which is about as Norman a town as you kind find in all of England. And glancing at the names of the currently living lights of the Paleophiles I don't see a surfeit of Anglo Saxon names, Miller might be, but Bannon is Gaelic. It's obvious, we simple folk are being used again!


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