An English In Kentucky


















Thursday October 26th 2017Tim Candler9


     George Pudesduckle wasn't by nature a dishonest or deceitful person, he wouldn't have known what a fossilized dinosaur bone looked like if it jumped out from behind a bush and said hello, so you can imagine his concerns as he led Saeed and his entourage along with a couple of the more agile Industrial Magnet representatives through hot, tic infested undergrowth toward the entrance of the cave in which he'd claimed to have seen dinosaur bones. The cave was foul smelling and impressive, it reached into a dripping darkness, none of it remotely inviting and at the cave entrance there was much trepidation from Saeed's seamstresses. The other thing to recall is that back then it was tallow or whale oil that granted light to darkness, the flashlight had yet to be invented, and in all of Saint Barbara there was neither tallow or whale oil to be had, which meant that navigating darkness had it's problems. George  Pudesduckle, who was probably about ten years old, realized that some kind of a heavenly hand must have reached down to release him from the stress of having told lies. He marched confidently into the dark cave and when he was completely out of sight he clapped his hands.



     There has been debate around which species of bat emerged from the cave's entrance, whether it was the Great Northern Bat or the Eastern Small footed Myotis remains a mystery, but whatever these bats were called a considerable number of them poured through the mouth of the cave, they looked very bad tempered and basically the sight of them put the fear of god into Saeed and his entourage. And there must have been something about one of the Industrial Magnet representatives because the bats seemed to blame him for the disturbance to their sleepy time, they attacked his top hat and chased him until he fainted from exhaustion, heat and primitive conditions none of which he was in any one accustomed to. Saeed with all the aplomb of royal birth made an appraisal of the circumstance and he directed his hostler to locate an alternative site for the picnic lunch. During lunch, the remaining Industrial Magnet representative was able to persuade Saeed that according to one of his uncles who was a keen fossil hunter, bats in caves were a sure sign of dinosaur fossils, and he'd gone further. With a bit of wink he'd advised Saeed that the railway line through Saint Barbara would require several tunnels. 



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