An English In Kentucky


















Tuesday February 26th 2019Tim Candler9


    Grass is greening, but your gardener remained properly dour and passive as he watched Dove canoodling in the Maple that always flowers first. Then in the Giant Hardware store, hunting down clear paneling, right by the entrance, those little colorful glossy cardboard containers of Kennebec, and take my word for it, never spend good money on a little colorful glossy cardboard container of any kind of Potato, it'll break your heart, you'll rue the day and you might even end up rummaging around for your receipt for the comment section email address and spend the remainder of the afternoon live venting to some poor sod who has to come up with a suitably polite response or lose his job. It was an Ancient Greek leader called Solon who, and this is according to the one color crayon idiot Bannon's much wiser and colorful Plutarch, apparently when he came to power took on the issue of the moral state of his people, they'd all turned into the Ancient Greek equivalent of gardeners who do spend good money on little colorful glossy cardboard containers of Seed Potato, get sucked in by Purple Potato, find themselves going Oh-la-la by that total waste of time and effort Fingerling Potato.





    Not sure what Solon's position was on sourcing Seed Potato but I have read he kind of insisted that an engaged to be married couple before the marriage was legalized should be put into a room where they were to eat a Quince together. And here we're not talking the sorry little gnarled fruit of the travel weary English Botanist visiting 1780's Japan Quince, we're talking the Quince known since ancient times and which, some claim, was the Fruit Tree in the Garden of Eden that led to so massive a series of misunderstandings between the creator and his two trust-fund babies. The point about the Quince Tree Fruit, and there are different varieties, some easier than others, is that it's almost impossible to call the fruit remotely delicately flavored or sweet, it's not something you can pluck off a tree and say "yum, yum" without at least having the knowledge and capacity to prepare it. Then when the hard work is done you're beginning to talk gastronomic appreciation, rather than something that makes the eyes water, clots blood and tastes something like an unripe Black Current only infinitely more extreme. 


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