Friday January 25th 2019Tim
Candler9
After a
little pacing around, a few sleepless nights and after
long internal dialogue your N Scale modeler has
determined that of the eight Gormenghast Bridges one
will be named after Saint Winifred and another will be
named after Saint Chad. And on the off chance that
something like fake news interrupts the progress of this
very important decision these two names have been given
an absoluteness, and no slicky boy lawyer is going to be
permitted to raise this or that obscure point such as a
few remaining doubts about Saint Chad or reference the
sort of chaotic Brexit Referendum meandering that
resulted in an incredibly expensive research ship being
given the name Boaty McBoatface. Yes we're talking
bridge names that are written in stone, forever and ever
amen kind of thing. And yet there could be a problem!
Not so much with the Saint Chad, who according to the
Roman propagandist Bead, had a deep and abiding loyalty
to the band of monks who accompanied him on his mission
to preach the Beatitudes to the Mercian Host. A fine
quality, particularly when a more vivid imagination can
conjure a Mohawk Tonsure for each of Chad's indomitable
monks, and which in my view suggests that Saint Chad
wouldn't be all that picky about how his memory might be
recorded in the form of a railway bridge.
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Saint
Winifred however, is a whole different jar of wax. Let's
put it this way, there's a reason her suitor Caradog cut
off Winifred's head when she basically told him she'd
rather enter a nunnery than have anything to do with
him. Certainly boys of all ages react often very poorly
to rejection but the extreme reaction of chopping off
someone's head has hinted to many that Winifred was more
winsome than shall we say sturdy. Some images of her do
suggest elegance of the flowing robes kind. Already I
can hear two arguments against this position. The first
is a downright dismissal along the lines of they had no
television in those days so how could you possibly know.
The second concerns the issue of you're a boy so how can
you even begin to know what it's like being a girl
around boys. And this point of view would demand I
visit a battered woman's shelter so I realize how
idiotic I sound with this winsome nonsense. But the
defining debating point could be this, I don't think I'm
actually capable of making an elegant bridge that might
do justice to a winsome Saint Winifred. Such a bridge
would need graceful curves and perfectly carved stone,
all of them joining to make a "that bridge looks like a
flowing robe type bridge" statement. In the end I guess
it's this sort of conundrum that resulted in the Ancient
Egyptians settling on a pyramid.
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