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Saturday October 12th 2019Tim Candler9

 

     Walked down an aisles in the grocery store that your reluctant shopper has never been down before. You don't get maps, instead you got these little signs high above the aisles you need binoculars to read. The store was busy, shopping cart jams all over the place, coffee clutches with louder than necessary conversation and little old lady eavesdroppers doing nothing to aid the flow of traffic, inadequately trained big people on those motorized hazards that aimlessly zip around, not sure whether all children these days are an inch or two on the other side of special  but let's put it this way a snowflake in good standing does sometimes gain insights into the motivations behind the odious phenomenon of the eugenics movement. Then I saw an opportunity to collect my thoughts in what looked like a peacefully deserted aisle and ducked into it. The aisle contained yards and yards of Dog Treats, each variety of dog treat with images of so called adorable dogs that yap and if you tell them to shut up they bite you. To hell with it, I decided, "I'm going to buy a sausage."

Past

      Nor was "sausage" on my list, but arguably because three items on my list were, shall we say, so specially written I couldn't decode them, the sad fact is "sausage" could have well been on my list. It's also true that on a Saturday morning the meat products area in the Grocery store is a dithering place for those in our number who may have lost the physical capacity to touch their own toes and presumably some besotted life partner manages their foot care for them. The other thing about wanting to buy a sausage is that when put beside the mind blowing number of varieties of dog treats, sausage choice is very limited and, even more aggravating, at a minimum you have to buy 5 sausages for getting on 5 dollars. Then if you look further into prices, there's this whole reduced price per sausage if you buy two 5 packs of sausages. I guess it's all designed to sell pedicure kits to besotted life partners. Sadly, I spotted a little yellow lonely circle, the design of which might well have been culled from a Munch scribble just prior to his painting The Scream, so I got 5 suspect sausages for 99 cents. This time tomorrow I could be dead, structural change gone from consideration.     

 

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