to read an e-book
On Amazon or Barnes and Noble and their ilk,
they have you kind of by the balls. And to read e-books from them you
will need their e-book reading device. Which is "Nook" for Barnes and
Noble, and "Kindle" for Amazon. So go ahead submit your soul to the
adventure and enjoy the advertizing.
But to read my own venture into the literary world. This is what you do.
You need to download a free e-book reader for your computer.
Go to this link:
Sounds easy, I know. And it can be if you have an answer to the
following aggravating question:
Do you have Windows, or do you have Macintosh?
If you don't know the answer, find someone under the age of forty years
old if you have to. But you should know that thirteen and fourteen year
olds are you best bet. You can find them sometimes in the check out at
the grocery store where they do the bagging of groceries and are never
very cheerful. And if you're very unfortunate one might live next door
If you have Windows, 'click' to download the Windows version of the
e-reader. If you have Macintosh, 'click' to download the Macintosh
version of the e-reader.
And here it can get nerve-racking, because a little sign will come up
which asks you another question.
"Do you want to save the file?" or "Do you want to open the file?"
And here the word 'file' refers to the 'e-reader.'
My own traditional practice has been to just 'click' on something and
then see what happens. But the other option is to save the
'e-reader file' to your computer. So you 'click' the button that says
Then you wait, and you think about the internet, and maybe you have a
cigarette to calm your nerves.
So hang in there. "Do not unplug your machine."
If you are very lucky all will go well, there
might even be a happy little 'ding' which over time you can learn to
switch off by what's called, "muting the sound." And you might also find
that once you have "muted the sound" it might be some time before are
able to "un-mute the sound."
Either way some thing will come up on your screen
which will ask: "Do you want to open the file?" To this question you
Then all hell breaks loose and you manage to
convince yourself that some demon has taken possession of your computer
and any minute there will be total strangers examining your medical
records and borrowing money from you without your permission.
During the "opening of the file process" you might be asked whether you
want an icon placed upon your "desktop." I have always said yes to
this question, because I have found that unless I have an icon on the
"desktop" or on the "toolbar" I never know what has happened to
something like an 'e-reader' and it just gets lost.
Then you have your 'e-reader' and mine is called
Adobe Digital Editions 4.0. Which is a pompous ass kind of name, but I
The next big adventure is to get yourself an 'e-book.' There are a great
many of them and some are free. 'Free e-books' can be wonderful. The don't
cost you anything, they can be fun and they can be entertaining. Some are an
absolute waste of time unless you're an anthropologist or an angry
grammarian or take huge pleasure in the misfortunate spelling of others.
But some 'free e-books' are well worth reading, and maybe I am biased but for
you first 'e-book' I'd try going to this page:
Potter down the page until you see a bunch of what could
be miniature books. 'Click' on a picture of free one. And you'll be taken to
a page which has a number of complexities not least of which is what to do
If you have Adobe Digital Editions
4.0, then you need to know that this 'e-reader' speaks a language called
'epub.' So 'click' on 'epub' and in very short order you're back to where
you started with the same old 'open the file, save the file' questions.
Have a look at the notice, and see if it says "Open
with." If it does, right next to "Open with" you might see:
Adobe Digital Editions 4.0.
If so 'click' the 'Open with' button. And low and behold
your e-reader has a book to read. And you just sort of 'click around and in
time you get the hang of turning pages and stuff like that. And it's not
really like a book, but it's kind of like a book and it is the twenty first
century and Caxton's been gone a long time.
If it doesn't say Adobe Digital Editions 4.0 next to
'Open with' then 'click' the 'save' button.
What happens to things that are downloaded?
They go to a part of your computer that's called
Sometimes you can search downloads by going to the top left had or right
hand corner where it says "Search Downloads."
But if you've got no idea what you're looking for that can be kind of tricky.
So what you can do is look for dates of the download.
If you can't find a date then you have to go to the toolbar where it says
things like 'new folder' or 'share with.' On the right hand side of this
toolbar there are some mysterious symbols. What you're looking for is some
kind of option that says 'details.' 'Click' on a couple of these symbols and
keep on 'clicking' until you start seeing dates in the list of the